No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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