So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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