You're so nebulous sometimes
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
