I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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