Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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