what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize