This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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