wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
