i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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