I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
