hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
wanna go halves on a baby?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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