My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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