Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
