At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
