The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.