I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours