Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
