my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
