respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
