margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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