so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just forgot I was standing up.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
