Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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