I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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