I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize