I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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