you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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