His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
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I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
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I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.