he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
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Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif