I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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