i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
