around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
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Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
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I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
All the doctor said was why
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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