Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
