Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
