She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
