The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
FUCK WHALES
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