uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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