Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
