seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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