She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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