why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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