you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
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Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
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Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.