so I'm never txting u again after today...
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?