so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
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I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
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okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
i think my cat just said my name.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"