Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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