How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
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Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
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Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?