Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
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I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
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Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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