I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
