when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
