She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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