Is it normal to miss your booty call?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
