i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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