I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
