i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Houston, we have a blender
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
