so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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