I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
