In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
