i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
why do cheetos always look like penises
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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