i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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