just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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