No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
