Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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